I was the exact same person I am today, but yet, I am so different.
I have changed so much and gone so far only to figure out that I am at the origin again. In fact, I am the origin.
I ran and ran and ran far away and returned. It was only then that I found my true self and everything I really wanted.
I am happy for the past. I am happy for the pain. I am not happy for the pain of my child, but that I can't control 100%.
I am the 18 year old again with hope, dreams and a sense of self unparalleled. I know most people don't have this in their lives. That, for lack of better words, sucks.
I am me and it's pretty grand.
I want to invite everyone to my myspace page:
http://www.myspace.com/poonariffic
I blog there...and interesting, new things are coming. I'd love you guys to add me on there.
Also, if you have LJ you can add the syndicated feed: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/poony_myspace/profile
The entire universe has changed for me and today ushers in an even better and newer chapter. I can't be beaten nor made to feel I am wrong nor bad for being myself. I will move on and never look back, unlike some people.
Thanks guys. Spread the word.
normal day
What's the best way to get on your good side?
Submitted by Manon-It-All.
I hate this question of the day.
I have felt uneasy and funky since yesterday. So, today I am reading my horoscope for yesterday and today and it says I AM GOING TO BE CRANKY. LOL what! So, it's supposed to last until...Thursday. I happen to have nice plans for that day. UM hello universe. Telling me something!!!!!
I began this day as such.
I move forward, in sickness and health with
Myself-
I look toward the past no more,
I do not hate
I do not regret anything I have felt, however
This day, today, is the beginning of everything
As every single day has the capacity for
Greatness.
I posted this in August on Lj...
Nine
years ago on July 30 my father passed away from esophogeal cancer in a
nursing home in Dallas, Tx. Nine years ago was a Wednesday. This year,
it was Sunday. I had a really great day. Leading up to Dad D-Day, I was
sad. I thought about dad often and cried alone. However, I forgot about
D-Day this year until 1am on the day after. When I remembered, a sick
feeling overcame me. I had forgotten D-Day, the singular most life
changing day in my existance. The day that has shaped my entire life
since 1997. THE day I changed forever. How could I forget D-Day?
Nevermind. I have come to terms with this occurrance. I know that I
cherish my father's memory every day, not JUST D-Day. It's like
Mother's Day or Father's Day. You shouldn't wait for one day to
remember, or praise or thank. You should always do this. Anyway, Nine
years ago my dad passed from this Earth. He had prepared in every way
possible for his death. A few months ago, when I visited Dallas again,
my mom and I went to storage. I had not gone through my father's
belongings. It took almost nine years to be able to see his things and
hold them in my hands. I couldn't spend too many minutes because of the
depth of emotion, but I took a few things home. A few weeks later I
read my father's diary. In this diary he struggled with his impending
fate. He was scared, which he never showed. He was proud of himself. He
was super critical of me and my behavior. I wasn't there for him
enough. I cried. I read the entire diary. I won't ever read it again. I
miss my father every second. I forgive his transgressions against my
family, against me. I cherish his memory, our evenings at the ballpark,
our nights at the symphony and opera. There is not anything I don't
remember, except the exact tone of his voice. I can't place his voice
anymore. This makes me insanely sad. However, I'll move on. I'll be ok.
I will always thank my dad for giving me life, for instilling the love
of music, art and all things cultural. Thanks dad. I miss you with
every second I breathe and every minute I am awake.
Just for the record, I didn't get anyone's accounts suspended. Nope. No complaints from me, no abuse correspondance. So, it's all not related to me.
Whoopsie!
You began to strike after midnight last
Pat pat pat, pitter pat pat
They say antiquity shows the path
Did you forget to read the anthology?
Whoops, I spilled my latte on page 66
Drip drip drip, spatter spat spat
The signal watcher spoke upon line 23
There's some cream
I think you withdrew 10 cents too much
2 dollar fee when this should all be free
Easy, easy, come to the corner at half past noon
Pay me to leave
Hand me over to Lucifer's maid
No wait, she's standing right here!
My killer, my slain rememberance, my past
The devil may care, but maybe I don't
So much
This miniscule time piece wasting my time pace
You gave me for Valentine's, too bad he died
I don't fucking wear a watch and haven't for
15 years, but you gave me the red roses, too
Which I smashed upon the graves of masters
Like you, of deception and brevity!
No, not brevity, but levity because you make me laugh
And for that, I am happier than I've ever begun
To become from the darkness, I wasn't myself
Pat, pat, pat me on the face with a bat
It might as well be this way, long gone
Place it on the sill, I've many fried dumplings to kiss
Facades of all reckoning and wrecking,
So wrecked, beget and begotten none
Look what we've all strung
The symphony plays in the background of life
And
It is mine.
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